Whats green and furry Fiona from Shrek
How do you confuse a blonde paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
What is 14 inches long and starts with D
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
So a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says “is there a problem boyoh?”. “I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!”. The man reply’s “I’m a leprechaun”. “Really?” says the man. “That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper”. “Anything I want?! 3 of them?” reply’s the man. “Anything in your wildest dreams boyoh, but you have to let me finish”. The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts in in, thrusting back and forth he asks for the man’s first wish. “I want a giant yacht” “Aye”, says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now”. “For my second wish I want a billion dollars” the man says, beginning to sweat. “Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you” the leprechaun reply’s. “Okay”, the man groans in pain. “For my final wish I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women”. “You betcha boyoh” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW” as he lets out a moan of pleasure. The man exhausted and sore says “that was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?”
The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”.
What’s red and sits in the corner? A baby chewing on a razor blade.
What’s green and sits in the corner? Same baby, one week later.
What fruit is square and green? a lemon in disguise
Whats red green and slimy and slids down the chipshop window.
Abortion of chips
Things said by racist aliens:
“Some of my best friends are Green.”
“I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship.”
“You’re very pretty for a Purple girl.”
“We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!”
“Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people.”
“You 2-headed people are so stupid!”
“No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes.”
“Get the hell out of my store you grigger!”
“The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let’s burn some spaceships on the Greenies’ lawns!”
What’s a green cucumber……. A carrot
Interviewer: what are your strengths? Interviewee: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: and your weaknesses? Interviewee: those beautiful green eyes of yours…
So there were kids in the bus and half of them were white and the other half was black, all the kids wanted to sit at the back so the bus driver said to all the kids stop fighting from now on everyone is now green, so the bus driver said to all the kids dark green go to the front and light green at the back.
What’s green and smells of bacon???
KERMITS FINGERS??
Why is a cabage green? Because its in Greenland
What do you call a green camel.
My parents left me.
What happen when someone shot the Hulk? He got gangryeen.
Gangrene+green+angry
RUS | ENG
